Melissa Leo is opening up about her Oscar win and how she feels the award actually hurt her career.

The 65-year-old actress won the award for Best Supporting Actress at the 2011 Oscars for her work in the movie The Fighter. She swept the season, also winning the same award at the Golden Globes, the SAG Awards, and the Critics Choice Awards.

In the years since, Melissa has had roles in movies like Flight, Olympus Has Fallen, Oblivion, The Equalizer, and Thunder Force, but she hasn’t had any roles that have taken her on another awards season journey. She picked up an Emmy Award in 2012 for her guest work on Louie and was nominated for a SAG Award in 2016 alongside the cast of The Big Short.

In a new Q&A for The Guardian, Melissa was very honest when she was asked how it felt to win the Oscar.

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“One loses one’s mind. I had won a lot of prestigious awards for The Fighter that season, and sat in that great gigantic theatre thinking: ‘Well, it certainly is possible.’ Kirk Douglas came out to present the best supporting actress award, opened the envelope and called my name. I was so delighted to meet him – that was all I was thinking about,” Melissa said.

She continued, “I turned to the house, which in most theatres, you can see by looking a little above your own eyesight. In the Dolby theatre, you have to raise your chin like you’re about to scale Mount Everest. Every single actor, director and producer you recognise, is staring you in the face. I then cursed, and I’m still sorry I cursed. I f–king curse all the time, but you cannot curse on network television. Thank God for the 10-second delay, which was introduced for f–king idiots like me.”

Melissa then got very honest.

“Having said that, winning an Oscar has not been good for me or my career. I didn’t dream of it, I never wanted it, and I had a much better career before I won,” she concluded.

Here’s a list of 21 actors who shockingly have never been nominated for an Oscar.